I’m not sure if you have a boyfriend/husband but if you don’t.. Does writing about make characters such as Jace, Will, Jem, Alec, Simon and so on give you high expectations of when looking for guys? Or do you think it gives other people high expectations? Maybe their qualities are what you found in other people? — theres—always—hope
I am married. Four year anniversary coming up. I think we get tin or paper or something. Before that I had boyfriends who I liked in varying degrees. But you know what I also had?
Crushes on boys in books.
Crushing on fictional characters of any gender is totally normal and it also doesn’t meant you want to date a person just like that. It’s totally normal whether you’re in a relationship or not in one.
Fiction gives us a safe space to explore what we’d never want to experience in real life. Being in jail, being a pirate, being a murderer, being an epic hero, being an epic villain. Dating a bazillion types of people and getting to experience the highs and lows of love without actually having to commit yourself to anyone with an evil father, or anyone currently dying of magical drug addition. I mean, how much fun would Will be if you met him in a bar?
You: Well, hello there, tall dark and handsome.
Will: I am cursed. Cursed!
You: I could buy you a drink.
Will: EVERYONE WHO LOVES ME WILL DIE.
You: This seems like potentially a lot of drama.
When we see characters, we’re seeing them in extremis, pushed to the edge of who they are by circumstance. We’re seeing them at the most exciting point of their lives, when they are most tested and most interesting. But there’s a big gap between “I love this character!” and actually wanting to marry them. I have a lognstanding crush on Mr. Darcy but have to admit he was a product of his time and probably I wouldn’t enjoy actually being married to him.
Mr Darcy: What are you doing, darling?
Me: I am writing a book.
Mr. Darcy: There is no need for such things when you have Pemberley to look after!
Me: *smashes a lamp on his head*
Do fictional men (and women) raise your standards? Maybe, but it’s not terrible to have high standards for yourself. I think it’s useful to break down what you like about a character — Will because he likes books? Simon because he’s into anime and nerdy stuff you like? Jace because he’s funny? Jem because he’s a musician? You can find all that stuff in real guys alive on the planet today. My husband is actually a musician who likes books, is funny and also a nerd.
First and foremost though if you love boys in books, find a boy that loves books. Find a boy who can love the same books as you — as I said oddly in a post about Will and Tessa, but it seems relevant here, People who know and love the same books you do have the roadmap of your soul. I believe that.
(All this stuff also applies to “girls in books” it’s just the question was about boys!)